( waggles eyebrows elena u tryna flirt. damon's phone starts ringing just a second later, and if he listens across the feed, he can probably hear the sounds of her shuffling around, gathering her car keys and changing into more suitable clothes. )
( immediately upon picking up the phone, elena will hear the spritz of a bottle of cleaning fluid and a grumbly salvatore. )
Your brother's a dumbass. Although I will give him points for making sure I don't have to deal with Stefan tonight.
( stefan's gone to hide in his room and, presumably, brood over the smell of tasty tasty human blood. leaving damon to clean up all by himself. asshole. )
His weird convoluted reason being that he was blackout drunk and a shitty teenage boy? Sure.
( old man damon wants these dumb kids to get off his lawn!!! )
I don't want to have to go through the effort of unlocking the cooler next time I need a meal just because your brother and his friends are stupid, how is that fair?
( her poor whiny baby LIFE IS TOO UNFAIR TO YOU. )
Whose alcohol was it? Who gave it to him? Wait, let me guess -- ( a pause for dramatic effect. ) It was Damon Salvatore, in the study, with the bourbon.
( HECK YEAH LIFE IS UNFAIR TO HIM he's the parent of a dumb teenage boy and he didn't even want to be! he never asked for this life, all he wanted was to terrorize his home town and save the girl, and then elena happened, and everything has gone downhill since. )
Please, as if I'd give any of my bourbon to a sixteen year old child. He couldn't even appreciate it anyway.
( damon definitely heard the front door closing and he is definitely smirking to himself. your bed is comfy, huh elena? don't want to leave? all he has to do is ask and you come who's whipped now? )
Oh, sorry I don't like shitty beer, but unlike everyone else you know, I'm not a teenager, so my taste in alcohol is actually good.
You don't seem to have a problem with me. See you at the house.
( and he's going to hang up without waiting for elena to say anything because he's a jerk but he's not a jerk who lets someone talk on the phone while they drive. )
( the drive never takes too long, and she's made the journey a million times, so it's easy to predict. no such thing as traffic in mystic falls. elena has long since lost her courtesy in knocking, and helps herself right in, headed towards the kitchen. )
Yeah, he and the wonder twins are sleeping it off in one of the free rooms.
( there are like a million free rooms in the boarding house, and yet only two are ever actually used, because the salvatores are both loaded and wasteful as fuck. damon drops the bucket uncaringly into the sink, and the rag along with it, so that he can catch elena by the waist and pull her closer to him, nudging their noses together. )
( her lips break into a smile where their noses touch, shaking her head by fractions of inches to nuzzle against him. also to shake her head "no", but mostly the former. )
I should check on them. But, ( a quick peck, unsatisfying in hindsight. ) you mentioned a comfy bed? If you're finished cleaning.
Last I checked on them, they were still breathing.
( granted, last he checked on them was like, an hour ago, and they were throwing up, but they were definitely breathing. what could happen in an hour, really? )
You don't have to mom them tonight, let them deal with the consequences of their terrible decisions.
( things damon would only say a. about other people and b. to keep elena all to himself. )
( raising her eyebrows at damon, all knowingly. regardless, a stare close to playful judgement breaks off in a quick grin, elena's hands finding damon's to give him a few suggestive tugs backwards, before she spins on her heels and guides them towards his bedroom. she knows the walk there almost as well as she knows the drive over. )
You clearly know nothing about how little teenagers need to be influenced into making terrible decisions.
( but elena is smiling at him, and pulling him towards his room, and damon doesn't really care at all about jeremy and matt and tyler anymore. all he cares about is elena, and getting her in his bed, and kissing her until neither of them can see straight.
once they reach his bedroom, damon pulls them both to a stop before they can step through the doorway. before elena can ask why, he sweeps her off her feet, picking her up in a princess carry, to carry her over the threshold. )
Remember that I'm one of these terrible decision making teenagers.
( there's a jovial "eep!" at getting picked up, from surprise and happiness, hands wrapped loosely around his neck so she can nose fondly at his cheek, pushing a quiet kiss to the bend of his jaw. how very, very smooth, damon. consider elena wooed for the time being. )
( damon doesn't bother to respond, just rolls his eyes and carries elena through his room to the bed. once there, he stops, and looks between elena and the bed as though he's considering something — should he be a dick and toss her onto the bed, so they can both laugh and she can hit him in the face with a pillow for being a jerk, or should he be a romantic idiot and set her down softly?
as if it's a contest. he throws elena — gently! — onto the bed, grinning as she bounces. )
there's an ungraceful huffing noise following her thump to the bed, brown hair strewn messily about her forehead, that she releases a puff of air to blow some of it off her face. still, her lips curl upwards, shaking her head. ) Oh, you're gonna get it -- ( and, as predicted, she reaches behind her to grab one of damon's overly plush pillows to toss a little pathetically at him, motion poorly influenced by a giggle burbling up her throat. )
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At least call me and keep me company while I bleach.
( damon is a. a neat freak and b. way too easy for elena to push around. )
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( waggles eyebrows elena u tryna flirt. damon's phone starts ringing just a second later, and if he listens across the feed, he can probably hear the sounds of her shuffling around, gathering her car keys and changing into more suitable clothes. )
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Your brother's a dumbass. Although I will give him points for making sure I don't have to deal with Stefan tonight.
( stefan's gone to hide in his room and, presumably, brood over the smell of tasty tasty human blood. leaving damon to clean up all by himself. asshole. )
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Maybe next time put the blood cooler under lock and key? It'll keep the humans out.
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( old man damon wants these dumb kids to get off his lawn!!! )
I don't want to have to go through the effort of unlocking the cooler next time I need a meal just because your brother and his friends are stupid, how is that fair?
( WHINE. )
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( her poor whiny baby LIFE IS TOO UNFAIR TO YOU. )
Whose alcohol was it? Who gave it to him? Wait, let me guess -- ( a pause for dramatic effect. ) It was Damon Salvatore, in the study, with the bourbon.
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Please, as if I'd give any of my bourbon to a sixteen year old child. He couldn't even appreciate it anyway.
( other alcohol, on the other hand... )
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Because your tastes are so refined. ( a jab at nothing in particular, damon is just an easy target. ) I don't know how you can drink that stuff.
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Oh, sorry I don't like shitty beer, but unlike everyone else you know, I'm not a teenager, so my taste in alcohol is actually good.
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Yikes, defensive.
( he can probably hear the smirk in her voice. he can definitely hear her car engine roar to life, phone nestled in her shoulder. )
No one likes a snobby drunk. And I happen to like shitty beer.
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( and he's going to hang up without waiting for elena to say anything because he's a jerk but he's not a jerk who lets someone talk on the phone while they drive. )
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Damon? ( snooping around. ) Obsessive cleaning man?
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( except that he totally is. damon comes around the corner with a bucket of soapy, bloody water in one hand and a bloody rag in the other. )
I like things to be neat, that is not obsessive.
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( i like you anyway, shh.
she shares quick glances around, not forgetting her end goal upon seeing damon. no sir. )
Where's my drunk little brother? Upstairs?
punts this into the au where they're together
( there are like a million free rooms in the boarding house, and yet only two are ever actually used, because the salvatores are both loaded and wasteful as fuck. damon drops the bucket uncaringly into the sink, and the rag along with it, so that he can catch elena by the waist and pull her closer to him, nudging their noses together. )
Forget about them. You should stay too.
:D :D :D
I should check on them. But, ( a quick peck, unsatisfying in hindsight. ) you mentioned a comfy bed? If you're finished cleaning.
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( damon's smile belies his words, and he kisses elena softly. ) I'm finished cleaning. Come on, my bed misses you.
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I miss your bed. You made sure they were okay?
( she knows damon won't lie to her. totally whipped. )
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( granted, last he checked on them was like, an hour ago, and they were throwing up, but they were definitely breathing. what could happen in an hour, really? )
You don't have to mom them tonight, let them deal with the consequences of their terrible decisions.
( things damon would only say a. about other people and b. to keep elena all to himself. )
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( raising her eyebrows at damon, all knowingly. regardless, a stare close to playful judgement breaks off in a quick grin, elena's hands finding damon's to give him a few suggestive tugs backwards, before she spins on her heels and guides them towards his bedroom. she knows the walk there almost as well as she knows the drive over. )
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( but elena is smiling at him, and pulling him towards his room, and damon doesn't really care at all about jeremy and matt and tyler anymore. all he cares about is elena, and getting her in his bed, and kissing her until neither of them can see straight.
once they reach his bedroom, damon pulls them both to a stop before they can step through the doorway. before elena can ask why, he sweeps her off her feet, picking her up in a princess carry, to carry her over the threshold. )
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( there's a jovial "eep!" at getting picked up, from surprise and happiness, hands wrapped loosely around his neck so she can nose fondly at his cheek, pushing a quiet kiss to the bend of his jaw. how very, very smooth, damon. consider elena wooed for the time being. )
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as if it's a contest. he throws elena — gently! — onto the bed, grinning as she bounces. )
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there's an ungraceful huffing noise following her thump to the bed, brown hair strewn messily about her forehead, that she releases a puff of air to blow some of it off her face. still, her lips curl upwards, shaking her head. ) Oh, you're gonna get it -- ( and, as predicted, she reaches behind her to grab one of damon's overly plush pillows to toss a little pathetically at him, motion poorly influenced by a giggle burbling up her throat. )
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