( just as much as falling for damon wasn't part of elena's plan, falling for elena was never part of damon's plan. he will deny that he has, of course, if anyone asks, even elena — though he would, likely, be kinder to her about it than he would anyone else — but it's hard to interpret his actions in any other way. he's been honest with her from the start about what he is, that she looks like katherine, that he has a brother he doesn't get along with. he told himself it would be easier to get her to trust him if he was honest, and though that was probably true, it sidestepped the more pertinent reason: he wanted her to trust him. not because he was scheming, but because she had put her trust in him at all, and he found himself averse to the idea of breaking that trust. the truth drove her away, but only for a week or two, and then she was back in his arms. it's been a few months since then, and... damon has no idea what the hell he's doing.
he'd come back to mystic falls with the express purpose of unleashing all the caged vampires on the town, leaving it to burn while he and katherine went somewhere far away and made up for all their lost time. since meeting elena, falling into a relationship with her, falling for her, he has made fewer steps toward realizing that purpose than he should have. he has the crystal, could undo the spell whenever he wants — hell, he even has elena's bennett witch best bud at his disposal — and yet. and yet, every time he thinks about it, elena comes over, and he finds himself distracted. for 145 years, he's lived with a singular goal, and now that he's close enough to that goal that he can practically taste it... he doesn't even know if he wants it anymore. being the first choice, finally, is a heady feeling, one damon isn't keen to give up so quickly. yes, he loves katherine, but she was always playing him and stefan off of each other, playing games and driving wedges between them. elena has no interest in stefan, and often seems uncomfortable even being in the same room as him. it is, if damon's honest with himself (which he tries never to be), the first time he's ever felt... good enough. like he is enough for someone, just as he is.
having to rein in his more murderous tendencies is difficult, and it's only the idea of what elena would say if he gave in to them that let mr. tanner leave town with his life (and a compulsion to never return). sometimes damon's not sure the lingering threat of elena's disapproving (or, worse, betrayed) expression will be enough to stay his hand, but so far, he's held himself in check. it doesn't do to dwell on possibilities, things he might or might not do, so damon instead lives in the moment, enjoys what he can, and revels in stefan's obvious discomfort over his relationship.
it is strange to actually be dating a normal teenaged human, resemblance to katherine aside — elena gets it into her head sometimes that they need to go on real dates and won't take no for an answer. not that damon would truly be inclined to give it, but he has must at least project the illusion of detachment, obviously feigned though it may be. when damon hears her car pull up outside the boarding house, he smirks to himself, anticipating another Normal Date Night. he blurs to the door, standing in front of it and waiting for elena to knock, and opens it promptly after her second knock.
he may be on his way to being tamed (a thought which fills him with dread, if he thinks about it too long, so he doesn't), but that doesn't mean he can't find fun in his own ways. )
( despite everything, and the natural instinct to push damon away, it's been easy to get closer to him -- he's not good, but he is good to her, not that it excuses anything, but it does help her faith in him. he isn't unfixable, he's a work in progress. and she's seen the good in him, even when he tries to cover it up -- he's kind every time their fingers intertwine, he's sweet whenever elena falls asleep on his chest, listening to the gentle rise and fall of his chest in the late hours of a ( rare ) peaceful evening. the world can call damon cruel all it likes, but the world will never know damon like elena does, and that's fine by her. maybe she's a little clingy, when it comes to him.
not that that's something she's admitting, either. she doesn't keep secrets from him, but not spilling the entire content of her heart isn't lying, it's just -- withholding. handling the situation with care. being smart about it. anyway, she tells him i love you in quieter gestures, kisses on his cheek and wrapping her arms around his neck during the various parties around mystic hills she drags him to -- saying his name, damon, with power and pleasure, infused with every hint of emotion she's ever had towards him. all the love in the world, the doubt, the insecurity, the fierceness. every time she says damon it sounds like a promise, or maybe a plead -- i'm not leaving or don't leave me. she's not so sure.
regardless, his tendency to sneak up on her has since lost its effect, and the door opened up immediately is mostly just expected at this point. a hand wraps around the shoulder strap of her purse, lip bitten and hip popped out, while she looks to the ground for a second -- just one! -- flickering back up to meet him a moment later. )
Mister Salvatore. ( she matches him with a smile, bright and flirty, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. ) Hopefully not too unexpected? I was hoping we could go out. ( a shrug. ) Or in, whichever. It's Saturday, I wanted to see you.
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he'd come back to mystic falls with the express purpose of unleashing all the caged vampires on the town, leaving it to burn while he and katherine went somewhere far away and made up for all their lost time. since meeting elena, falling into a relationship with her, falling for her, he has made fewer steps toward realizing that purpose than he should have. he has the crystal, could undo the spell whenever he wants — hell, he even has elena's bennett witch best bud at his disposal — and yet. and yet, every time he thinks about it, elena comes over, and he finds himself distracted. for 145 years, he's lived with a singular goal, and now that he's close enough to that goal that he can practically taste it... he doesn't even know if he wants it anymore. being the first choice, finally, is a heady feeling, one damon isn't keen to give up so quickly. yes, he loves katherine, but she was always playing him and stefan off of each other, playing games and driving wedges between them. elena has no interest in stefan, and often seems uncomfortable even being in the same room as him. it is, if damon's honest with himself (which he tries never to be), the first time he's ever felt... good enough. like he is enough for someone, just as he is.
having to rein in his more murderous tendencies is difficult, and it's only the idea of what elena would say if he gave in to them that let mr. tanner leave town with his life (and a compulsion to never return). sometimes damon's not sure the lingering threat of elena's disapproving (or, worse, betrayed) expression will be enough to stay his hand, but so far, he's held himself in check. it doesn't do to dwell on possibilities, things he might or might not do, so damon instead lives in the moment, enjoys what he can, and revels in stefan's obvious discomfort over his relationship.
it is strange to actually be dating a normal teenaged human, resemblance to katherine aside — elena gets it into her head sometimes that they need to go on real dates and won't take no for an answer. not that damon would truly be inclined to give it, but he has must at least project the illusion of detachment, obviously feigned though it may be. when damon hears her car pull up outside the boarding house, he smirks to himself, anticipating another Normal Date Night. he blurs to the door, standing in front of it and waiting for elena to knock, and opens it promptly after her second knock.
he may be on his way to being tamed (a thought which fills him with dread, if he thinks about it too long, so he doesn't), but that doesn't mean he can't find fun in his own ways. )
Why, Miss Gilbert. What an unexpected surprise.
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not that that's something she's admitting, either. she doesn't keep secrets from him, but not spilling the entire content of her heart isn't lying, it's just -- withholding. handling the situation with care. being smart about it. anyway, she tells him i love you in quieter gestures, kisses on his cheek and wrapping her arms around his neck during the various parties around mystic hills she drags him to -- saying his name, damon, with power and pleasure, infused with every hint of emotion she's ever had towards him. all the love in the world, the doubt, the insecurity, the fierceness. every time she says damon it sounds like a promise, or maybe a plead -- i'm not leaving or don't leave me. she's not so sure.
regardless, his tendency to sneak up on her has since lost its effect, and the door opened up immediately is mostly just expected at this point. a hand wraps around the shoulder strap of her purse, lip bitten and hip popped out, while she looks to the ground for a second -- just one! -- flickering back up to meet him a moment later. )
Mister Salvatore. ( she matches him with a smile, bright and flirty, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. ) Hopefully not too unexpected? I was hoping we could go out. ( a shrug. ) Or in, whichever. It's Saturday, I wanted to see you.